A reader recently wrote: “I can’t point to one specific symptom, but I just don’t feel like myself anymore. I’m more irritable, more anxious, less sharp, and honestly a little scared by how different I feel. Is this really perimenopause, or is something else going on?”
This is one of the most common things women say to their doctors during this transition, and it turns out researchers have specifically studied this exact phrase. Here is what they found, and what it means for you.
Key Takeaways
- A 2024 study found that nearly two-thirds of surveyed midlife women reported “not feeling like themselves” at least half the time over the previous three months, making this an extremely common, specifically studied experience.
- The symptoms most strongly linked to this feeling were fatigue, feeling overwhelmed, low mood, anxiety, and irritability, not the hot flashes and vaginal dryness most commonly associated with menopause.
- Because these symptoms aren’t the ones typically discussed as “menopause symptoms,” many women and even some clinicians don’t immediately connect them to perimenopause, which can leave the experience feeling unexplained and unsettling.
You Are Describing Something Researchers Specifically Studied
A researcher named Nina Coslov, working with a gynecologist who kept hearing this exact phrase from patients, decided to study it directly rather than treating it as too vague to investigate. The resulting study, published in the journal Menopause in 2024, surveyed over 1,500 midlife women and found that 63.3% reported not feeling like themselves at least 50% of the time over the previous three months. That is a striking number for something so commonly dismissed as vague or hard to describe.
What “Not Feeling Like Myself” Actually Correlates With
The researchers statistically analyzed which specific symptoms were most strongly associated with this feeling. The strongest correlations were with fatigue, feeling overwhelmed or less able to cope, low mood, increased anxiety and nervousness, irritability, difficulty concentrating, difficulty making decisions, a sense of not being able to calm down internally, forgetfulness, tearfulness, and increased worry.
Notably, It Was Not Strongly Tied to the “Classic” Menopause Symptoms
This is one of the more important findings, and it explains a lot about why so many women feel confused by this experience. The study specifically found that the phrase was not strongly correlated with hot flashes or vaginal dryness, the two symptoms most commonly discussed as hallmark signs of menopause. This mismatch means a woman can be deep in a genuinely perimenopausal symptom cluster, fatigue, mood change, anxiety, brain fog, without having the symptoms that would prompt her or her doctor to think “menopause” in the first place.
Why This Matters Beyond Just Having a Name for It
One of the researchers explained the goal plainly: to give both patients and providers language to recognize this pattern and start a more productive conversation, rather than leaving women to wonder alone whether something is fundamentally wrong with them. Multiple clinicians quoted in coverage of this research described hearing this exact phrase from patients constantly, often from women who blame themselves for the change rather than connecting it to a hormonal transition, largely because it doesn’t fit the narrower “textbook” symptom list many people associate with perimenopause.
What I’d Tell This Reader
First, you are describing something specifically documented in research, not something vague or imagined, and you are genuinely far from alone. Nearly two out of three women in this study reported feeling this way regularly. Second, it is worth bringing this phrase directly to a doctor rather than only describing individual symptoms in isolation, since naming the overall pattern, “I don’t feel like myself, and here specifically is what that means for me,” tends to prompt a more useful conversation than listing fatigue or irritability as separate, disconnected complaints.
Third, and this matters: the researchers themselves noted that because these symptoms aren’t yet widely expected as perimenopause symptoms, women often lack an explanatory model for what is happening to them. Simply having a name and a documented pattern for the experience is not a small thing. It is often the first step toward feeling less alarmed and more equipped to seek the right kind of support, whether that is nutrition and lifestyle changes, therapy, hormone therapy, or some combination.
| Symptom Most Linked to “Not Feeling Like Myself” | Correlation Strength |
|---|---|
| Fatigue | Strongest |
| Feeling overwhelmed/less able to cope | Strong |
| Low mood | Strong |
| Anxiety, nervousness | Moderate to strong |
| Irritability | Moderate |
| Hot flashes, vaginal dryness | Notably weak |
Frequently Asked Questions
Is “Not Feeling Like Myself” an Official Perimenopause Symptom?
It is not on the traditional symptom checklist most people associate with menopause, but a 2024 study found it is an extremely common experience during this transition, statistically linked to fatigue, mood changes, anxiety, and brain fog rather than to hot flashes specifically.
Why Didn’t My Doctor Connect My Symptoms to Perimenopause Sooner?
These particular symptoms are not the ones most commonly discussed as classic perimenopause signs, which the researchers themselves identified as a real gap. Bringing this specific phrase and the pattern of symptoms directly to a doctor can help prompt a more targeted conversation.
Does This Feeling Go Away?
For many women, this specific cluster of symptoms eases as hormone levels stabilize in postmenopause, though the timeline and degree of improvement vary. In the meantime, several evidence-supported approaches, including hormone therapy, therapy, sleep, and lifestyle changes, can help.
Selected Sources
- “Not Feeling Like Myself” in Perimenopause: Observations from the Women Living Better Survey (Menopause, 2024)
- Brain Fog, Fatigue, Mood Swings: Defining “Not Feeling Like Myself” in Perimenopause (Healio)
This article is for general educational purposes and is not a substitute for personalized medical advice. Talk with a qualified healthcare provider about mood and identity-related changes you’re experiencing during this transition.